Where Do Babies Come From?

By CC 

These four drabbles work best if read in order. They are The Meeting (100 words), The Facts of Life (500 words), Where do Babies Come From? (400 words), and You Want to Touch it? (300 words).

 

Murdoch stared at Johnny in disbelief. Could he really be that naïve? He’d never had a father figure, and lord only knew Maria was no role model when it came to love, sex, and responsibility. His younger son was watching him expectantly. Scott had turned away and appeared to be coughing.

“I thought I just explained that. Didn’t you understand?”

“Babies hatch from eggs?”

“Yes. No. Well, sort of.  It’s more like with the bull and the cow. They mate and have a calf. It’s the same with people.”

“Really?” Johnny furrowed his brow. “I seen a fellow do that with a sheep before, but not with a cow. You saying the sheep had a baby after that?”

Scott started coughing again.

“No.” It looked like he was having this talk just in time. “A man has to, uh, mate with a woman, and then they have a baby.”

“The lady lays an egg?”

“Forget the egg.” He stopped to glare at Scott, who seemed to be having a coughing fit. More likely laughing at his little brother. “Do you need some water, Scott?”

“Uh, no, sir.”

“A man and a woman mate, then the woman has a baby.”

“Oh. So you know how they mate?”

“The man places his, uh, member…“

“Member what?”

“What?”

“What you want me to ’member?”

Murdoch stared. “Nothing. Let me try this again. The man puts his, um, uh. . .”

“His Scotty?”

Scott blew out the water he’d been drinking.

Murdoch spoke slowly, frowning. “Yes, his Scotty.” He fixed a long stare at Scott, who seemed to be coughing for real this time. “Scott, I suggest you listen.”

Johnny started snickering.

Scott glared at his brother. “Uh, yes, sir.”

Johnny assumed a serious look. “So where’s he put it?”

“He, uh, puts it in the woman’s, uh, her, you know…”

“No. Where?”

Scott started guffawing, then coughing again.

Murdoch leaned forward. “This is not a laughing matter! Having a child is a serious thing, something that should be planned for with the woman you marry! You won’t be laughing once you’re forced to marry a woman you don’t love because she’s carrying a child you didn’t plan on!”

An echoing silence filled the room. Neither son was laughing now. Scott wasn’t even coughing.

Damn.

“I’m going to town,” said Johnny quietly, getting up and walking from the room.

 

THE END

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