For those of you who don't know me, via the various Lancer sites, the following reviews were, for the most part, written during a heightened period of seismic ( earthquake) activity that struck my home time of Christchurch between September 2010 and January 2012. So hopefully, that will put into context the various somewhat hysterical  references to earthquakes that are made in several of the reviews. Writing them was, in essence, my coping mechanism for dealing with my world ( and house) shaking apart.  So hopefully, that will go some way to explaining my slightly, irreverent, self indulgent look at the episodes reviewed; for which I make absolutely no apology! I'm sure a shrink would have a field day.......

Intro

Well, I just couldn't resist reviewing this eppy because it's such a keeper. I mean what's not to like? It's a complete and utter Scott fest…. And he is wearing those tight brown pants…and torso hugging blue shirt that shows us that wee bit more skin…. and he just looks so sexy and gorgeous and… and…ok…calm down…now if I do get overwrought its because whilst watching the eppy we had three significant quakes in less than 15 minutes…so please excuse me if I get a bit carried away….I use the gorgeous one as a means to distract me from the world continuing to shake beneath my feet…  I think its gonna be a bad night…ok Coop...breathe...

Ok, onto the eppy. We are `treated' to some pretty heavy weight guest stars (for the time). In no real order of preference or significance, we have Clint Howard, younger and allegedly cuter (I’m not convinced) younger brother of Ron Howard (who appeared in `Jelly').  Basically Howard Jr. got signed up for any role at the time where a young male child was required because he was seen as 'cute' by the powers that be. Well, cute in a gargoyle kinda way I guess…poor old Clint soon outgrew his `cuteness' and has his older brother Ron to thank for his continuing career in movies. If Ron directs it, Clint's in it…. if he don't, poor old Clint just don't get cast…

Then we have the wonderful Keenan Wynn as Kansas Bill. Superb character actor…can't say enough good about him.  And he is superb in this.   And then we have a very young Sam Elliott (did ya spot him?) in an early role. Not a huge part but he's there…. still a helluva good looking man today IMHO (although not a patch on the Gorgeous one of course…)

 Ok, on with the eppy….

 Well we start with the tranquil, easy kinda music that tells us its gonna be an episode where nothing really bad happens. Last time the Lancers (sans Johnny) were camped out, they got attacked by a giant pussy cat (Welcome to Genesis) so I guess the soft kinda music is to allay any viewers fears of a repeat performance.

As usual Jelly is blustering that he knows all there is to know about fishing and that to catch fish you are gonna need more than iddy biddy flies. Scott is confident that he can catch enough fish and win the prize money for his new hat  (although his old one looks perfectly fine to me) without Jelly's  `advice', and can clearly see through Jelly's blarney. His passing shot to the old coot as he leaves is "You can uncross your fingers now."   Snicker...way to go Scott. A masterful put down....

Cut to Johnny, who from his casting style hasn't got a hope in hell of winning this little competition by the conventional rules of angling.  In fact, I am sure none of the film crew wanted to be within thirty feet either side of JS when he was doing that…. jeez…he could have had someone’s eye out...

With what I am sure is more luck than skill, he soon has a bite but the fish clearly has other ideas and manages to wiggle away…swim little fishy swim for you life...

Cut to his gorgeous older brother who is faring far better. The poor fish who, 8 seconds earlier was thanking his fish gods that he had had such a lucky escape, rounds the bend of the river and suddenly spots something delicious to eat right there in front of him…and can't believe his luck…now here you have to remember that fish only have an 8 second memory span so he has entirely forgotten his earlier brush with death and his base instincts take over and …oh dear…poor fish is soon reeled in by the more gorgeous older brother of his earlier nemesis…tough break …..

The gorgeous one is clearly very pleased with himself (as well he should be) and reels in the stunt fish (well actually it's a rubber one the props department came up with that still manages to wiggle like a real fish – of course the American Humane society would have been on set to ensure no real fish were harmed in the making of this show).

The Gorgeous one, clearly bitten by the fishing bug is not going to rest on his laurels with one fish – he REALLY wants that new hat and so goes to bury his catch somewhere safe so he can go catch more.

 But oh dear…. he is being watched and from the sickly cutesy music (that had Coop reaching for a bucket  - she had just had her dinner - what with that and the shaking, well it was never gonna stay down long), we know it ain't gonna be no Mexican bandito, or hardened gunfighter or anything like that…. nope, its that kid that hangs around with that old bear…. you know the one who's Dad is a ranger…oh wait, wrong show…oops….      And he's got those hungry little old eyes on that there fish…

Back to Johnny and he don't look as if he is having much more success…not surprising…almost gets another but nope, he is once again outsmarted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea…stick to gun fighting Johnny boy…. Oh wait, he heard me. Yep, Johnny's patience finally runs out and he goes for the unconventional but ultimately more successful method of fishing…shoot them out of the river. If I were the rest of the Lancers I would want to avoid imbibing any of Johnny's catch if I wanted to avoid lead poisoning, and that's if the imbedded bullets don't fly out of the deceased fish flesh as they are roasted on the fire (or whatever it is you do with fish – hell I don't know – never eat them). That would be a real unfortunate way to go…   

From Scott's wry smile and lack of concern at the gunshots shattering the peaceful atmosphere, its clear he figured it was only a matter of time before Johnny resorted to cheating…with a smug smile he goes to retrieve his prize but, oh no, it's gone!!! Gad zooks! Who could have carried out such a dastardly deed…?  

Cue Cutesy music again...oh heck, we gonna have this all through the eppy??!  The pint sized thief has already gutted and filleted the fish (ick) and is busy cooking it on his tiny fire…awww…. yeah, I know, we're all supposed to melt and go all soft and sentimental, have all our maternal instincts awakened…but nope, Coop's as cold as ice…she’s only got eyes for the gorgeous one and the kid is taking up too much screen time…Oh but wait.... here comes 'his gorgeousness....'

Clearly he is still in shock as he points at the fish the boy is holding up and says, "That's my hat…"

The kids gormless expression makes him resemble the gawping filleted corpse in his hand……………

So seeing the confused expression on the kids face Scott explains, "The biggest fish would have won a new hat"

Phew. Glad we got that cleared up…so’s the kid...

Next scene sees Johnny measuring the decomposing fish that has now been buried in the dirt and handled by at least three people  (heck would any of you still wanna eat that?!) against Murdoch’s and confirms that Willie has won by a whisker…well, a gill…you get my drift….and therefore wins the hat money.

But, points out Willie, "I didn't put any in."  Ok kid, has no one ever taught you the phrase about never looking gift horses in the mouth…nope, clearly not….

Of course, WE all know that it’s Murdoch, Johnny and the gorgeous ones way of sending the kid down guilt alley in an attempt to make him fess up…he'll feel much better and he'll digest his manky fish easier if he tells the truth…but of course all that goes over Jelly's bald shiny head…and he coerces the kid to admit that the fish wasn't his… and Willie obliges, confessing "I stoled it" (again, the mispronounced words are supposed to be endearing – Coop just wants to rap him over the head and tell him to speak proper English. It's not cute its just annoying…)

 Scott tells Willie he is glad….    Nope Willie, not glad you stole it glad you ADMITTED to it…tsk tsk...Jelly suitably chagrined by the stony looks of the others and clearly smitten by the kids incorrect grammar and inability to understand simple concepts (yes, of course they are kindred spirits…) offers him the hat money.

The kid is not interested in the money however saying he ain't got no use for it (you'll learn kid) he's off to look for his dear old Gramps Kansas Bill Sharpe….

Johnny confirms that he is a well known gunfighter……….or was…before he shot him…no wait, that's the alternate version of this eppy I have in my head…ignore me…would make the eppy much darker...and shorter... (But perhaps more interesting at that juncture!!)  

 Scott utters the immortal line "Well Willie, you've had a lot of rain in your life but from now on I predict nothing but blue skies" I guess the analogy would have been completely lost on the kid though…wondering what on earth the weather had to do with him and his Grandfather…he certainly looks pretty confused...

Cue next scene though and we see the irony of what the writer was trying to convey…a near empty bottle of whiskey and someone reaching for it. And it don't take a rocket scientist or even Jellifer Hoskins to work out who that's gonna be…the humorous 'lets all laugh at the pathetic drunk' music tells us that here is Kansas Bill and as he picks up his bucket and struggles out the door we see the word `Onyx' stencilled on one of the crates…

And if we need any further confirmation, back at the Lancer camp Willie asks if anyone knows where `Onyx' is…Oh dear…. I am predicting storm clouds.... lots of rain and lightning and thunder…well, you get the point.... they’re gonna need their galoshes.... and slickers...no blue skies to be found in Onyx...

 Well Johnny lays it on thick, it's a rough journey through desert etc etc…ok, we get it, not a good place for a kid to be going on their own especially with no shoes…I think that was the gist of it anyway…have to admit to zoning out rather in this scene. I know the kid is in it, I hear his voice but all I have ever seen is the gorgeous one…sat next to the campfire with one leg up at an angle…. just sitting there…. looking gorgeous and …oh hell…. sorry…where was I?  Oh yeah…he is such a distraction...

So Scott pipes up to Willie " Onyx huh? Well, it just so happens that I'm riding up that way." Yeah right………..we all see through that one don't we? Johnny does, Murdoch does…but nope, that goes right over old Jelly's head who pipes up "You didn't tell me that." Way to go Jelly......

 Scott gives him his best withering look (love it!) and says " You know why I don't tell you everything Jelly?" and Johnny pipes in "Because you've got a big mouth." Yep, you got that right…but it's ok coz Willie is gonna be just like Jelly when he grows up and it goes right over his little head too…phew...

So soon our gorgeous blond is saddling up to take the kid to go meet his soused up Grandpappy….not sure who I feel sorry for most at the moment...I think I am slightly with the soused up Grandpappy at this juncture....

So its farewell to Johnny boy, Murdoch and Jellifer…. the gorgeous one is riding solo from now on…YAY! Well…kinda…we see him heading off with the kid wrapped behind him…grrrrr…. is it wrong of me to be jealous of a 10-year-old kid…? Does that make me a bad person...........oh well; ya'll know I'm no angel.... 

So now we get to have a good look at Onyx and the towns folk there and it's pretty clear it's an ugly place that Scott and Willie are headed to. Its run by Colonel Andrews, the self appointed Mayor of the lawless town (one wonders whether he bestowed the rank of Colonel on himself too?)  And its clear that Kansas Bill is deemed to be the town idiot, the court jester if you like, paraded in front of those in the saloon by Andrews for his own and their entertainment. Yep, Onyx sure is ugly….  

And Kansas Bills reward for his daily cabaret? Another bottle of whiskey…. yep, Andrews sure  is a low life…… 

 The Gorgeous one has clearly had an inkling about what they might find there and plays it safe…. he and Willie arrive at a conveniently abandoned but well stocked shack (maybe its one of those line shacks we hear so much about?) and Scott tells Willie to wait there; he's gonna go into the town and check it all out…

Clearly the brief amount of time with Scott (Has it been hours? Days? Anyone know how long it takes to get to Onyx?)  has done Willie some good as he has suddenly developed a whole new level of understanding and perceptiveness that he had not possessed before and he asks Scott if he is gonna see how old Kansas Bill feels taking in a kid he has never met before.

 Scott tells him that, hey, he's not just a kid, he's kin. (And we get a very delicious close up of the gorgeous one)…but oh heck, here we go with the soppy music again………Willie is scared his Gramps won't want him. Very perceptive of you kid…he won’t… Scott tries to pacify him with what grown ups do to kids  - you know the old hair ruffle thing (did anyone else HATE that as a kid…I know I did) and tells him "he'll want you Willie." Oh Scott darling, those are dangerous words……….but that kid is tugging at his old heart strings and he just can't help himself…and then Willie does a whole heap more heart tugging when he holds up the hat money that just `appeared' in his pocket…courtesy of old Jelly who also seems to have a soft centre…. as well as being soft in the head... well of course, he did have several kids of his own…. one of them bearing a very slight familial resemblance to young Willie in actual fact…and equally as annoying………. “Yeah," says Scott, "that seems like something Jelly would do."

So Willie lays it on even thicker and the cutesie music gets even cuter and Willie asks Scott to buy him some new boots with the money so that he can meet his Gramps all proper like…Scott takes the money and tells Willie to "Wash up will ya". Now its either a lump in the throat that has got Scott all choked up…. or bile…I’m not sure which but he sure makes a hasty exit, either before the tears well up in eyes or his lunch makes a hasty exit from his stomach…I know, I'm a cold hearted wench…. but I was ready outside to impart comfort to the gorgeous one either way…. with a hanky or a bucket, whichever was required….

Cue next scene and we are in Onyx…Kansas Bill is snoring in the hay…clasping his bottle of whiskey and as the shot pans out, the gorgeous one is standing over him and mutters his name in disgust…yep, good job he went into town alone…Kansas Bill gets a rude awakening courtesy of the icy cold bucket of water tossed over him…well, it could have been worse...the supercilious kid could have been there to give him a lecture...

Now, I am not a jealous person by nature…I am really not. I don't usually covet what others have.  But all bets have been off since I discovered the Gorgeous one such a relatively short time ago and I find myself not only jealous of a 10 year old kid in this eppy but now I am jealous of an elderly, drunken ex gunfighter. Why? Because he is being bathed by the Gorgeous one!!!! Heck, what I would give to trade places!!!!!  C'mon…I'm not the only one surely….?! Admit it… Scott, hunny, you can bath me ANY time!!! I'll even bring my own loofah....

Ahem…that could be in the rewrite too…Coop… the errant mother of said child who has strayed from the path of motherhood and needs to be guided back by the love of a good man…yeah, that could work…now how to get the bath in…hmm…I'll figure that out later…

Ok, back to the eppy…. sorry `bout that…. can I blame the earthquakes?

So we see Scott working on Old Kansas Bill, walking him around the barn, plying him with endless cups of coffee and disgustedly telling Old Kansas that he, Scott, is his conscience and reflecting that poor young Willie thought that he wouldn't be worthy of his Grandpappy…I wouldn't say that...I'd say they deserve each other.... BAD Coop!

He tells Kansas Bill that he has 4 days to get himself together. He will keep the boy in the shack and then he will bring him in to meet his idol. KB will be sober, clear eyed and steady of hand and when the boy meets his idol he will be everything that Willie thinks he will and should be. After that Scott will take the boy with him. He will give Kansas Bill $20 at the end of all that to get as soused as he likes but the legend stays with the boy...heck Scott you got all this figured huh? Where do these paternal instincts come from? Not old Harlan Garrett that's for sure....

Scott tells Kansas Bill "I'll buy you some clothes. The horses are beginning to complain. Where's your gun?"  Bill tells him  " I drank it."

Ooops…so this is proving to be an expensive trip for the Gorgeous one…

Meanwhile, old Colonel Sanders.... sorry...Andrews, ain't happy that this Lancer fella is spoiling his fun by sobering up his number one cabaret act and heads out to confront our gorgeous hero...

By this stage, Kansas Bill is all scrubbed up and looking real fine in his new duds.... Scott has got him a new .45 to try but old Bills hands are still a wee bit shaky there and he nearly shoots his new benefactor by accident  (or maybe it was design?!) so Scott tries it out for him. But old Colonel Blimp…sorry Andrews...tells him that he's not allowed to shoot guns within the town limits...Looking INCREDIBLY sexy in this scene...and masterful...and well, just gorgeous, Scott ignores him and proceeds to ask the gunsmith to get a carbine to try out.

He tells Colonel Bogey...sorry, Andrews.... that he has a pathological drive to own people. But of course with his rhino hide, Andrews sees this as a compliment rather than an insult. Heck, he probably doesn’t understand what the word pathological means…

Scott though gets all masterful and sexy again and tells him " Well you bought a man with a bottle. Now I'm buying him back for 4 days." Phwoar...........  Way to go Scott!

He walks over to the town sign, pulls it up and walks over and sets it in a barrel next to the store. He then proceeds to try out the carbine, with a shooting display that would make his little brother proud, he hits the same tin can six times (just off set the props master was desperately pulling at the can with some wire to make it look like WM was a crack shot...I mean, you didn't think he could REALLY do that...right? You did...oh dear...then its time for me to tell you about the tooth fairy...and Father Christmas....)

He then calmly tells the gunsmith he will 'take it' and puts the sign back where it belonged...and yeah...I rewind and rewatch this scene A LOT!!!

So back at the shack (as opposed to back at the ranch) Willie is also now duded up in new shirt, pants and boots (poor Scott – this is costing him a fortune) and is very excited at the prospect of meeting his Gramps

 Scott cautions that he has to stay put for 4 days though…

Willie is surprisingly accepting of this, considering there is sweet FA to do at that shack on his own…but he does wanna know why Jelly would give him money and Scott buy him clothes. After all, they're not kin?

Scott tells him he is sorry to hear him say that as he was beginning to like the idea of having a kid brother. Willie reminds him that he already had a brother…Like Scott would forget... but Scott placates him and tells him that there is always room for one more, specially if he's got a good looking pair of boots like that." Err…Scott, hunny, you bought them for him…but again, this patronising mention of boots goes totally over Willies head and he accepts it.  Scott asks Willie if he will be alright in the shack for 4 days on his own and Willie responds `Sure I've been alright all my life." Oh pulease…could this get any sicklier?!

Scott tells Willie he's a good boy and does the hair ruffle thing again and leaves him to his own devices. Coop is incredulous…I mean, gorgeous one, you’re gonna leave a kid alone for 4 days…. to fend for himself? In the Wild West? Heck, get that kid a social worker right now!!!    I know, I know…these are the olden days… child welfare didn't exist…well, not the way we know it now…

But its clear the kid already has deep psychological issues…he proceeds to start talking to his hat…telling it he now has a brother and a Grandfather…oh dear…that kid needs therapy... 

Back in Onyx Kansas Bill, shirtless and sweaty is forking hay in the barn watched by our blond hero who is looking particularly gorgeous (although I wish we could have been treated to him shirtless and sweaty as opposed to old Bill - we'll sort that in Coop's rewrite). Old Bill complains that he is soaking wet in the heat of the day but Scott quips back " You're not soaking wet but you are dried out." Oh very good, gorgeous one...

Later on as Bill eats his lunch, Scott points out that Bill is no longer shaking and that he is ready to meet Willie. He'll bring him in the next day…well, that would be enough to bring the DT's back if that were me....shudder

Meanwhile Colonel Mustard…er…Andrews…. recruits the young gunfighter who has cruised into town (Sam Elliott) telling him that its his chance to call Old Kansas Bill out…oh dear…. things could get decidedly ugly…

Next day, with slightly contrived timing, Scott and Willie ride into town just in time to see the showdown in the street…hmmmmmm…what are the odds?  But before the big draw can take place, Sam Elliott gets an attack of the scaredies when he realises its old Kansas Bill he is standing face to face with on the street and he backs off… Of course this makes old Gramps looks even better to a young and impressionable and, frankly, gullible Willie and he careens down the street shouting ` Grandfather, Grandfather'! And just in case the townsfolk and Old Kansas Bill haven't figured it out, Willie comes face to face with the old man and tells him " You're my grandfather. You don't know me. I' m named after you. We're kin “ Well, doh!

Well the old Colonel blusters up and enacts his plan to offer the old ex gunfighter the Marshall’s job in front of his Grandson' knowing he could not refuse it in front of the boy.  Kansas Bill accepts but Scott knows the old Colonel is up to something even if Bill and Willie don't.  Gullibility must run in the family...how did the old fella survive for so long?! 

And if we needed any further confirmation we get it from the Colonels nameless sidekick who indicates 

"When word gets out he's wearing a badge again every punk in this country will ride in to call him out and he'll get himself killed."   The colonel just walks away and you know that was his plan all along…. NASTY man…. where’s Johnny when you need him?

Scott follows him to have it out and Andrews tells Scott the story about his pet monkey………the one he had as a kid that got taken away when it got sick………..and he never forgave his father for that. Nope of course not, you would rather have contracted bubonic plague and died a grisly death…but nope, it's the principle…he would rather see his pet monkey dead than have it taken away from him and that's the fate he is setting up for Kansas Bill.

Back at the Marshall's office, Kansas Bill is struggling with having his sickly sweet Grandson around who insists on calling him Kansas Bill, talks incessantly and has Bill dreaming of drink. I know what you mean Bill, right about now I could deal with a stiff one myself…DRINK that is…

Scott enters just as Bill is plied for yet another story from the kid…Bill is in the middle of telling Willie he will tell him more over at the restaurant – he sends him ahead to go order a big steak…but he's not really thinking of the kids nutritional requirements; nah, he's just buying himself some breathing room. Me, I would have sent the kid out to play chicken in the middle of main street… yes, I know BAD Coop…I am just getting into character for that heartless wench story unfolding in my head where Scott teaches me the error of my ways… as only he could...

Anyway, old Bill tells Scott he can't handle anymore…to get the kid outta there as sooner or later he is gonna see his Grandpappy for what he really is…a drunken old man. " 

Scott tells him " You've made progress because before you didn't care but now if that boy saw you drunk it would kill you. Reconsider."  

But Bill responds, " It would kill him."

Scott concedes this and reluctantly hands over the $20 as promised to Kansas Bill.

Scott heads off with Willie. Between them he and Bill have fabricated a story to make Willie believe its better for him to go with Scott but he's clearly not happy to be separated from his newfound kin and object of hero worship.

Bill takes his $20 out of his pocket and we think he is gonna head for the saloon but he holds firm and goes back to the Marshall’s office. But old Colonel Decker…. Sorry…Andrews…is there with a bottle for him. Clearly he wants his Monkey back and he knows just how to make him perform…

Now this is one of my fave scenes…one that gets paused and rewound…paused and rewound and paused and rewound a LOT…yep, it's the campfire scene…. and Scott doesn't say a WORD. But boy doesn't he look GORGEOUS when he is sleeping?

And they pan in not once but THREE times as Willie is saying something about needing to go back to his Gramps…. but Coop's not really listening…she is just gazing all dewey eyed at the gorgeous one, imagining smoothing back those bangs and watching him sleep. The Director (a visionary with foresight, bless him) must have realised that this would be a delicious treat for all future Scottettes with the advent of VHS and then DVD…. So c'mon admit it…you all pause and rewind too, huh?

Anyway. The scene ends all too quickly and the next thing we see is Scott arriving back in the same hay barn (heck, don't Bill got no home? Ain't there a bed to sleep on in the marshal’s office?) and finding Bill spreadeagled and drunk yet again………..With unerring timing, Willie arrives just afterwards in the company of the dastardly Colonel who is determined that the boy should see exactly what his Grandfather has become. One can only imagine what sort of childhood Andrews had to be so bitter and twisted to want to ruin the life of another small boy, even one as nauseating as Willie. It couldn't have been all about the monkey surely?

Andrews offers to take the boy on himself; to put him to work for him but Scott, with the most stormy look in his eyes that makes Coop go weak at the knees (well it would have done if she were standing at the time) makes a grab for Andrews and tells him in no uncertain terms  "The boy stays with me."

Andrews tells him to take his hand off him so Scott obliges and, quite aptly, considering the location they are in, plants a doozy of a haymaker on Andrews that sends him flying. For his troubles though Scott gets a carbine pointed at him by one of Andrews cohorts and once the Colonel is recovered enough, orders them to take Scott away and teach him a lesson where everyone can see. Scott tries to struggle but its futile…. oh ho…looks like our gorgeous one could get kinda ruffled up some…. oh goody…. (Did I say that out loud?!)

Poor little Willie is beside himself and wants Kansas Bill to spring into action and save Scott from getting hurt but he is seeing his Gramps as he really is and it's a hard lesson for the little fella. I almost felt sorry for him but the fake crying was kinda grating………

I'll say this for him though…if looks could kill, the daggers that little old Willie sends old Kansas Bill could have had him laid out in the undertakers pretty sharpish…and old Bill is suitably chastised. So much so that, in a bizarre move, he pours the liquor that he was given by Andrews all over his clean shirt….hmmmm…but what he sees reflected back from the empty bottle is a man he doesn't like…and it prompts him into action.

 Meanwhile outside, poor Scott baby, is being dragged literally, and unceremoniously through the streets tied to the back of a horse (Ok, so the stuntman was…WM was probably offset having a well deserved coffee and a ciggie)…Now I am not a medical expert but I do know a wee bit about physics and traction/friction etc and all that kinda stuff (I even know a fair amount about seismology these days – funny that…) and what this knowledge tells me is that at the speed that Scott is being dragged, not only would his clothes be ripped to shreds but so too would a good proportion of skin. Dragging more often than not killed a man. Yet our gorgeous hero emerges a little ruffled and dusty and remarkably chipper. I know, I know, this is fiction and we really don't want the eppy to end on a bad note but it's a little far fetched to have him get up so quickly from such an experience…. hmmm…but we are glad all the same...     

And hey, he is needed. As Kansas Bill calls Colonel Andrews out; finally standing up to the old bully, Scott needs to grab his carbine and make sure the odds stay firmly even.  Having a few minutes before been yelling at his Gramps to do something to help Scott, Willie is now telling Old Bill he ain't gotta do it – not for him. But of course, that's the whole point, Bill HAS gotta do it. He has to stand up to the likes of Andrews in front of the boy else how could he ever hope to have his respect? Of course WE know the kid will idolize Bill regardless but the old fella has to do it for his own self-respect.

But he has lived the life of a gunfighter and that's no life when you have a kid in tow…. so he shoots Andrews in the hand. Just enough to disarm him and then finally throws down his own gun for good saying " I don't wanna shoot anybody anymore."

So, finally we get to the closing tag of the eppy (and of this review - phew!). Bill decides that it would be good to take the boy to Oregon…well, it's as good a place as any I guess…but suitably far away to ensure that they won't be coming over to Lancer for tea anytime soon. Nope, it’s likely the last that our hero will see of Sharpe Snr and Jnr…. just as well, as, between them, they have cleaned him out financially. Give him his due though, the old fella does try to hand back the $20 but Scott tells him he has earned it. And Willie does remember his manners and thanks Scott. The gorgeous one asks him what for and the cheeky young upstart says "For the fish of course" – Doh!    That could be a cue for a song you know…"It started with a fish…. never knew it would come to this…" hmmmm… 'Hot Chocolate' eat your heart out…

 Scott looks gorgeous in this last scene…. a little rumpled and ruffled, with that gorgeous smile of his and we are treated to a nice panning out shot with the Carbine slung nonchalantly over his shoulder…. and then he turns, picks up Bills .45 and holster and then heads back to his horse…. nice view of his rear.....aww……ahem... 

So to recap…there are some WONDERFUL scenes in this. This a fabulous Scott episode…from go to whoa. All silly comments aside, it is one of my faves and there are so many wonderful `moments' that I have tried to cover in this slightly crazy review but do look forward to discussing in more depth with you all as I know this is a favourite for many of us….  

I understand this particular eppy achieved the highest ratings for season 2 of Lancer – maybe even for the entire series of Lancer. Would need to check my `sources' for that one.   

Ok, well its 12.40am and I have been at this for about 5 hours. It kept me distracted for a few hours after those three big, shallow and very close together shakes which occurred as I watched the eppy and took some notes. It’s been still for over 4 hours now so it might be safe to sleep…if I can… I sure am tired enough…and if I reread this review tomorrow I am sure I will see just how wired I really was! Call this therapy though….

Anyway, apologies in advance if I make less sense than normal (not that I usually make much). Look forward to catching up with you all on this wonderful eppy tomorrow.

Cheers

Coop  (shaken and a little stirred)   

My Thanks to Suz for providing the eye candy….